The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What`s your name?"
"Paul," the new seaman replied.
"Look, I don`t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they`re teaching sailors in boot camp today, but I don`t call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only: Smith, Jones, Baker. I am to be referred to only as 'Chief.' Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye, Chief!"
"Now that we`ve got that straight, what`s your last name?"
The new seaman sighed. "Darling. My name is Paul Darling, Chief."
"OK, Paul, here`s what I want you to do..."